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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:54
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
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I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
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We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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